The Doldrums


I don’t know if it’s the change in season or coming to the end of b/feeding* after nearly six and a half years but something is kicking my arse right now.

I could stay in bed all day given half the chance. I’m unbearably miserable and I just don’t know how to end it.

There’s part of me that expects socks to be pulled up and normal service to resume but the other part just cries which isn’t much help.

What’s inexplicable is that I’m actually happy. I’m purposeful and so excited by my work which I finally have time to do during the day. Big difference and yet, meh.

What’s a girl to do? Write about it, go to sleep, hope that tomorrow is different.

*abbreviated to keep the creeps from finding my site.

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  • Reply Carie November 5, 2013 at 9:09 am

    I think you can be happy and sad at the same time. I’m still struggling to adjust to being back at work after maternity leave and that makes me desperately unhappy but it doesn’t stop my loving my days at home with the girls. It’s just a bit of a roller coaster at the moment. Plus the crazy nursing hormones defy any sort of logic! Hopefully everything is clearer in the morning.
    Carie recently posted…Penguin {what we’re reading}My Profile

    • Reply Kat November 7, 2013 at 10:43 am

      Thank you Carie x

  • Reply Lianne November 5, 2013 at 9:29 am

    oh Kat! Maybe everything together, babas to school, change of career, work in your house, lots of great blogpost and twitter chats, combined with Autumn blues and maybe some hidden tension about setting up Blogtacular triggered it. Just stay in bed with trusty old friend Catch-up TV (I can recommend the Divingbell and The Butterfly on BBC Iplayer for some serious floods of tears) or read a beautiful heartwarming book or all 4 issues of Lionheart Magazine. It might be time not to demand anything of yourself for a day or 2, you deserve it, you have worked hard and it sounds like you are always there for everyone.
    I usually make a list in my head of things that are good, to prevent myself from drowning, and with everything I add I feel my back is getting stronger and straighter again, and the tears are pulled back inside.
    Try not to cry too much though, much too exhausting…restrict yourself to one soaking wet hanky a day ;-)
    Lots of love and a pretend homemade Dutch apple pie…xx

    • Reply Kat November 7, 2013 at 10:45 am

      Thank you Lianne x

  • Reply lou@littlegreenshed November 5, 2013 at 9:50 am

    Right – I’m organising a proper girlie meet up. Involving some drink – maybe a stay over somewhere and a real laugh. You are coming. x

    • Reply Kat November 7, 2013 at 10:47 am


  • Reply Kelly November 5, 2013 at 9:55 am

    Pesky hormones have a lot to answer for I think. Be good to yourself, let yourself feel whatever you are feeling. I’m feeling it a bit now that Autumn has turned really soggy and cold and winter is stretching out in front of me. So much has changed recently and it’s bound to have an effect. I’m just coming to terms with school and I am sure you are missing your babies during the day, work or no work.

    Keep your head up, keep your heart strong x

    • Reply Kat November 7, 2013 at 10:48 am

      Thank you Kelly x

  • Reply Josie November 6, 2013 at 8:10 am

    It’s the time of year for sure. I always feel like this around this time. I know autumn’s pretty but it heralds the beginning of a long cold winter usually, and who in their right mind feels good thinking about darkness at 3pm?!

    • Reply Kat November 7, 2013 at 10:49 am

      It’s *so* dark!

  • Reply Rachael November 6, 2013 at 10:02 am

    Hormones are a bitch. Mine give me regular migraines that frustrate me so much. My little one is a few months older than Betsy and I’m getting a real sense of moving out of the baby years. Those days are behind me and although I’m fairly certain my family is complete, there’s still that sense of it being the end of an era. I need to sell my multiple prams and pushchairs but somehow it just seems wrong to admit that I am no longer the mother of a baby. When I think that in just 10 years my eldest could easily be leaving home it seems unreal. Anyway, I send my sympathies. Hopefully feeling blue will pass but in the meantime maybe it’s just time for some rest and reflection and moving on will happen when your brain is ready. Does that make any sense? I suppose what I’m trying to say is that I’m a big believer in tuning in to how you feel and trusting that you feel that way for a reason. Best wishes x x
    Rachael recently posted…Autumn in the ParkMy Profile

    • Reply Kat November 7, 2013 at 10:50 am

      Thank you Rachael x

  • Reply Xanthe November 8, 2013 at 6:21 pm

    Hormones and the change in seasons… two things you can’t control but they effect us all too much. Hope your tomorrow was another day and things are a little brighter…

  • Reply Rachel November 9, 2013 at 10:30 pm

    I’m sure I read that ending bfing triggers a hormonal reaction which can make you feel down. I do hope that things improve for you soon.
    Rachel recently posted…Organising the art materialsMy Profile

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