Lesson 1: If a bin is left in such a place that you cannot manoeuvre past another car, it is customary to complain to the vehicle’s owner rather than move the bin.
Lesson 2: Once the bins are collected, remove the empty bin from street and replace with alternate bin to ensure you don’t forget to put it out in seven days’ time. Pay no heed to proximity to neighbour’s windows or parking spot.
Lesson 3: If your bin should go missing simply replace with the newly acquired bin of a neighbour. When the neighbour tells you their bin has disappeared feel free to tell them what you have done but refuse to return their bin forcing them to buy a new one.
Lesson 4: After leaving your bin in the street for several weeks you notice there are some nappies in there which you did not deposit. Go to each house which is home to children and accuse the parents of sneaking into your garden with nappies (even though your bin was in the street).
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